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Oli is a 25 year old trans man from the US who hopes to assist in the education of trans topics as well as the amplification of trans voices.

Some of us struggle not just with our trans identities, but also with backlash for our gender expression

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Gender can be, and is, a fluid thing for many people. For me, I’m very confident in who I am- not to say that fluid people aren’t confident. I mean more in the sense that I know in my heart, with all my soul, that I am a man. A trans man. Many would call me ‘trans masculine,’ but to me that just isn’t a label that fits me. Yes, I’m trans. Yes, I’m transitioning to be seen as the male I am. But masculine? I’m not so sure that label sticks.

When I was younger I hated feminine things…


I lost my v-card to science.

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My first ‘real’ relationship was a long-distance one, with someone all the way across the country. I saved up meticulously so that I could see him. We tried, during this time, to sneakily (he still lived with his parents) make the beast with two backs. But try as his cis self might, he couldn’t penetrate me.

Before this point, I’d never tried to even so much as use a tampon. My downstairs area was something I didn’t want to be near, at all. …


Once I recognized myself as trans, I was finally able to begin putting together the shards of my identity.

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I found myself in what I think is the silliest way possible. I was working a retail job, stocking a shelf. A customer turned and noticed me and, wanting help, said, “Excuse me, sir?” I turned around with the goofiest grin, happy but unsure why. I’d needed a serious talk with myself about gender for a long while, but in that moment I knew that the conversation needed to happen soon.

I went home that night recognizing myself as someone I didn’t know I knew I was.

I’ve been transitioning for roughly over three years, in which time I’ve had…


There isn’t enough trans positive smut out there, so I tried my hand at writing some.

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In case you aren’t trans, let me tell you that there aren’t enough trans-positive related sexual media out there: it usually either fetishizes trans people, is violent, or both. So, tired of being treated like an exotic wonder, I decided to try my hand at writing trans erotica.

Writing has always been a passion of mine (if you couldn’t tell). I first got into writing via creative storytelling: fanfiction. Fanfiction is easy though, as you simply take preexisting characters then modify or create lore. …


While I take care of my virtual pet, it’s unexpectedly doing much the same for me.

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2020 has been notoriously hard for plenty of reasons. Besides quarantine, I also failed out of university, lost my job, lost my childhood cat, and had to deal with my already terrible mental health- thanks bipolar disorder with psychotic features and OCD!

Despite all of that, I’ve decided this year is the year I’ll prevail above all. I’m not going out of it without giving a fight. I’ve been applying to jobs left and right, applied to a new job, started seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis, and generally just have began to work on myself. …


I failed university so you don’t have to!

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College is wonderful, or so we’re told. It helps ensure we get a good career, another thing we’re told. It should only take four years, yep- one of the other countless things we’re told. Promise after promise after promise. But college isn’t for everyone, just as college isn’t a level playing field to all. Let’s start up with background information that will make it clearer about what exactly happened.

When I was barely 18 I was diagnosed with depression. It wasn’t because I could never keep my room clean, or because I socially withdrew all the time. It wasn’t even…


Holidays are hard when your family doesn’t love the true ‘you.’

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I remember going to my grandparents’ when I was a kid. I’d work with them to decorate the Christmas tree, and I always got the honor of putting the angel on top. It’s all vivid in my head how happy I was. I was so young, barely my own person — if my own person at all.

Family get togethers are an absolute dread of mine now. Not just because COVID, but also because of the fact I have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

Nobody, beyond my parents and brother, know I’m queer. Not only during reunion-type events…


Some queer people are accepted by their families, others rejected. Then there are those in the middle.

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Before we start talking about this, I want to state that I know I’m privileged when it comes to this topic. I have a home and parents who say they love me. I’ve never been thrown out or physically abused. That aside though, I want to speak about my own experiences with conditional love and what it’s like to be queer with an unaccepting parent.


Find all information about our publication here, including how to write for us.

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Hello and welcome to Mishmash! Here we value stories that might not fit in other places, whether they don’t exactly fit into any particular category or they fit into too many. From essays, to articles, to all nonfiction literature in between, we host writings from all walks of life about people’s personal experiences.

How to Write With Us

As stated, we’re open to people from all walks on life. If you find yourself wanting to join us in this journey follow the guide below!

The current process to become a Mishmash writer is to fill out a google form for intake, to which we will email you back if we find you suitable for our publication. It’s not as daunting as it sounds, though! …


Even when allies think they’re doing justice for trans people, there are many pitfalls which can cause quite the opposite effect.

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Recently I felt forced to watch ‘Big Mouth’ with my father. Why did I feel forced? Well ‘Big Mouth’ isn’t a show I particularly enjoy, in fact it’s something I’d rather avoid if I could. But this new season of the show brings about a character named Natalie, a transgender identifying individual, and I felt I had to stick around and watch to ensure the show was educating its audience correctly. Natalie is a trans girl (she/her) who is returning to a camp full of peers she knew pre-transition. …

Oliver

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